A Little Taste

This is a conversation I wrote last night between the protagonist and her 'companion'. Part of my spec. fiction novel for older children. Feel free to comment, I am interested to know if I was able to get across the emotions I was trying to convey. (It is quite long- 1310 words to be exact).

Pearl wasn’t sure how long she had stood frozen on that rock. It could have been minutes, perhaps an hour or more. The huge red sun still headed towards the horizon, the waves still crashed onto the rocky shore behind her. Their noisy advance making her feel like she would be swept away in the bottomless sea at anytime- just to add to the horror of her situation. Strangely though, she didn’t feel as repulsed or afraid as she had when the jelly-ribbon had begun to cover her. For one thing, she was warm. The wind no longer bit into her exposed arms. She could still feeling it sweeping past her, it just didn’t have the bite she’d felt wrapped in her towel. All the while, as she remained paralysed, the jelly creature sang. The constant Eee-ee-eee-ee in her head was actually quite soothing. Something about that disturbed Pearl, she knew she should be terrified. She knew she should be screaming and screaming and screaming until her lungs burst apart with the horror of it all, but she just didn’t feel like it.
“What’s up with that?” she thought.
What’s up with what? The voice was sudden and sounded strange, like it was speaking around a mouthful of biscuits. Swollen and mumbly.
“Ohmygawd!” she said- or tried to, but as she was still paralysed it came out more as long grunting squeal.
“Who said that?” she asked her mind.
That would be me, the ‘jelly-ribbon’? It said, echoing Pearl’s own thoughts.
“You’re… You’re talking to me? In my head,” Pearl’s eyes were staring around trying to lock onto something that would make this conversation more tangible. All she came up with was her shiny skin and an alien sun. She settled for her glossy arm, held up in frozen horror.
Telepathy, that’s what you call it isn’t it? The voice continued, sounding clearer and losing some of its strange accent.
“Yeah, but how did you..?”
I am linking your thoughts with my own.
“You’re brainwashing me!? You can’t do that, I’ll fight you. Out! Out you big glossy jellyfish” Pearl screamed into her head, her fear crashing back in. She gritted her teeth, her jaw clenching. She imagined great walls around her head, closing out the voice. Her temples throbbed with the effort.
Actually I can brainwash you, but I won’t. It said, matter of factly. And that isn’t how you get rid of me.
“It isn’t?” Pearl thought, letting go of the pressure in her head.
No, that’ll just give you a headache.
It was making her a headache.
“How do I get rid of you then?” she asked.
You take me with you when you go.
“Go?” Pearl felt a chill again, this time it wasn’t the wind.
Back.
“Back?”
What, is there an echo in here? Back. Wherever it is you came from. I want to go with you.
“Why would you want to do that? You don’t know anything about me, or where I’m from.”
I know you aren’t from this world. And I know all I want to know about this great big puddle. I want out.
“Why should I help you? You attacked me, you slimed yourself all over me and now you’ve invaded my brain! I’m not helping you except to chuck you back into your ‘puddle’ so I can get out of here,” she said, flexing in her immovable cocoon.
Ah, but you can’t get out of here can you?
“Yes I can, I can leave anytime,” she said. She struggled against her translucent prison.
You’ve lost something haven’t you? Something you need. I can feel your anguish. I can help you.
“You seem to know so much,” Pearl said, calculating now. “What have I lost then?”
I… don’t know.
“Ha! I knew it, you don’t know squat, so how can you help me if you don’t know what it is?” It felt good to get one up one her jailer.
Foolish child, I know more about this world than you could ever learn. There are dangers here that I can guide you through, ways within the Worldsea that only I know. I can help you find this thing you have lost.
“I have already met your killer birds, I took care of them. No problems.” she said, trying to sound surer than she felt when she remembered the serrated edges of their beaks.
The Timparii? Ha! They are scavengers. The dangers I speak of are hunters, the ones that lurk in the deepest dark of that endless sea around you.
Pearl looked out at the darkening waters, stretching away for ever and ever.
The Rubygaurd. The Cthels. Gangethlu. They’d look upon your tiny form as a morsel to be taken and then forgotten. Then where would we be?
Pearl paused, it did make some kind of sense. She really did have to find the scissors.
Ah ha, I see them now. Scissors you call them?
An image of her uncle’s scissors flashed up before her eyes, tiny gems sparkling in the growing gloom of twilight.
“Hey! How did you do that?” she thought, admitting to a small part of herself that it was a pretty cool trick.
Your mind is messy, full of noise and distraction. Their image leaked out, as did a picture of another of your kind, bloated and round.
“That was private. And Leo isn’t bloated- he’s just big boned.” she said in a sulk. She shouldn’t have to defend her uncle to this… this thing. If she’d been able she would have chewed on her fringe and stuck out her bottom lip.
This is what you’ve lost? The voice continued.
Pearl said nothing, and tried very hard to think of nothing but a rude gesture she’d always wanted to try out in the schoolyard.
So where did you lose them, exactly?
Despite her best efforts a tiny sliver of purple flashed in her mind, chipped out of the stone where they now stood.
I see, they fell… into the Worldsea?
She couldn’t help it.
“Yes, I think they fell into… the Worldsea? Over there.” Her eyes tracked along the rock, back into the water where the jelly-ribbon had leapt out at her.
Excellent! Then I know where they are.
“Me too! In the Worldsea, and its a big place, dontcha know? Try that on for size Mr. Smarty-thing.”
Ceflamass. And I know where in the Worldsea they will be.
“You do?” Pearl couldn’t help feeling a twang of hope. “Where?”
Uh uh. Not telling.
“Please. You’re right, I do need them.” She took a breath and sighed out all the fear and despair she felt crushing in on her. “I must have them.”
And I must get away.
Pearl could hear the fear behind the voice- she could almost taste its belief. She paused once more, wishing she had that strand to gnaw on.
“Should I trust it?” she thought to herself.
Slowly, her scalp began to crawl. It sent goosebumps down her neck and right along her frozen arms. A blonde lock of hair, ends split from constant abuse, swam into view. It was covered in a tiny film of the creature’s jelly-flesh, but as it approached her face the see-through skin parted to allow the hair to brush against her lips. With an unconscious flick of her tongue, Pearl scooped the hair in and began to suck.
“Thank you… Ceflamass” she said the name carefully. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
You’re welcome… Pearl.
She smiled at how the creature said her name, like a song and a bell all at once. Pearl felt the pressure around her face slacken. She gave an experimental chew on her fringe.
“I think I’ll call you Zeffy.” Pearl said.
But my name is Ceflamass.
“Too long. Zeffy it is.”

Back in the Saddle

A good month has passed with little writing being done on my behalf. Certainly no blogging anyway. My youngest's eczema flared up really badly, which left us staying awake, or mostly awake, for weeks on end stopping him from scratching his legs to bloody ribbons in his sleep. Even so, I managed to reach a milestone that I had set for myself early in the journey of writing my novel for young readers. I made 20000 words a couple of weeks ago, and have been telling everyone I know about it- so I thought I'd better blog it for prosperity. It may be a Leo thing to have a bit of a brag, and sure, those 20000 words will probably change immensely before the book is ready to show anyone, but I think it is important to celebrate these things when they come along. You never know when the next one might be, if ever.
I also had a Eureka moment with Pearl the other night, realising just what it is I am trying to get across in the story. Besides being a rip-roaring action adventure full of fantastic settings and creatures, I want Pearl to discover something about herself and grow out of that discovery into something more than she was. I think I know how now, and no, I am not telling you here. You'll just have to wait and see like the rest of us.
I have also decided it is time to start building an audience base, which is where you come in. I will link this blog to Facebook and start updating it more regularly (I say this with the best intentions- but at times life will definitely get in the way so forgive me please).
With my beloved away for work this week I am going to try and do my 750 words a night. The little man is back at Preschool so I want to write as much as I can in the mornings too, while the grass is drying out. I have lots of mowing to do in the afternoons-lots!
Okay, better get to work.
Peace
Ian